Sunday, August 30, 2009

Self Titled


Where do I go from here, Lord?


My thoughts are tainted with self-seeking. . .


My heart is destructive to itself --abandoning reason for feelings. . .


How do I begin to move forward?



Explanations pour out in prose


A written document, safe. . . concealed. . .


What would happen were I to reveal?


Inhibition; apprehension grows.



Even if my thoughts are raw on paper


Does that mean that anything will change?


Wanting transparency to take center stage. . .


But staying behind the caution tape seems safer.



Don't have much more to type or say. . .


Pleading fifth leaves a bleeding heart


But if I speak, regret pours forth


*sigh*


Leave the conundrum for another day. . .


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Home Once More...

'twas nice to have a few days at the g-rents' house to collect my thoughts and spend time resting... so refreshing and encouraging --it was hard to leave.

So much is racing in my mind...

Eyelids are heavy... but I needed to type...


Congratulations to Superman *w00t w00t* I couldn't be any more stoked for him even if i tried :-) God is amazing!! He is SO good to us --even though we don't deserve an ounce of His greatness. Go forth, superhero... rise (to the occasion), and shine (for Christ), and give God the glory (and draw others to worship and glorify Him --Matthew 5:16 style) 8-)


School-ness..... 3 days away (and counting!!!) .... gotta prepare... much to prepare indeed...


*yaaaawwwwn* <-- and that's my cue :-) *time for sleep*



Good night, Lord --and Thank You!! (SO very much....) ^_^

~Jess~

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Hold Tight - Don't Let Go. . .

Psalm 62

1For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
2He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

....

5For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Selah



Psalm 77

1I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints.
Selah

4You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6I said, "Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart."
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7"Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?"
Selah

10Then I said, "I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High."

11I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
12I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
13Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
14You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.

15You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah

16When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
17The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

. . . when i remember . . .




Never Alone

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone


And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life


We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]
~J~

Thursday, August 13, 2009

can't sleep...

...makes sense ...maybe it comes with the territory?

muscles sore -or just tense? perhaps another puzzle piece to the story...

thoughts coursing -- or just forcing their way out of my brain

inside, preocupied... cluttered like a storm drain...


much to think on.... much to drink in --still sorting through the pile...

God is faithful, ever watchful --causes me to smile. =)


colors change and rearrange as i recall a friend's words...

beauty dark, though deep and stark, within, a subtle danger lurks.

hope is light and full of life --gentle shades of blues and whites...

like a sky as clouds roll by --summer hues are bright; seem right...



time for changes in the mind... time brings changes in my life...

take a moment to breathe --but be careful not to fall behind

stay the course... keep the pace

no remorse ... run the race

cling to the source... seek His face...

like before, can't run in place...

must "PUSH" forward, by His grace...

fear leaves its incriminating trace

yet His peace greets me like a warm embrace.


i should sleep --it's getting late... later in the day, that is...

maybe it's too earlier to try to rhyme --should wait until the daylight breaks...

put aside the pondering time --put aside the muscle aches...

restful slumber shall be mine...

nothing trumps this peace of mind

that only comes from Him...



An hour now since i began... typing, as if i were writing with a feather pen that's wanting to take flight... dipping into the ink well (hmmm :-P)... eyes are telling me it's time to reconsider rest tonight --sleeping for a spell... will i sleep? time will tell...

:-)

~J~

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Yesterday felt like...

...a mob of angry butterflies trapped in my stomach...




...having a WWF Smackdown wrestling match. :-P



How's that for mental imagery?? ;-) hehe


Today's outcome: Somewhat improved... slightly less nauseous... perhaps a tad less "internal cringe" factor --but not gone entirely.... blah.


"Pray. Don't worry. Trust God" <-- my new mantra? Hmm... Gotta work on that...
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On a less stressful note....
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*missed him today --mucho-- (even though we got to talk for a while, which I was totally stoked about) and I pray that he has wonderful sleep tonight* :-)
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Good night, Byron...
~Jess~